Dear Cheap Idiot,

So I was sitting near the back of the bus today, minding my own business when you and your friends started to talk. At first, the conversation (which was loud, by the way - I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, but I bet the bus driver could have heard your annoying giggling and chatter) was boring. Talks of grad dinner/dance, dresses, shoes. It's September, kids, you have a lot of time. Then you moved onto your newest hobby.

Or rather, what your sister's friend's boyfriend (I think I got that right?) had for a new hobby: screenprinting. And you mentioned how he'd made your sister the "coolest shirt in the world" and how he had all this fancy equipment and inks and such. And.... "He'll totally make you guys shirts for like a buck. I'll give you guys his number, just call him up."

Really? Your sister receives a gift and you seem to feel as if it's a green light to pimp him out for $1 per shirt? Go do yourself a favour and look up how much screenprinting equipment runs for, how much the inks and catalyst and such cost, retail price. Please, go see that and then recant what you said and apologize to your sister's friend's boyfriend for being an idiot of epic proportions.

Also, please don't hatch up half-brained money-making schemes on public transit. It makes you and your friends look absolutely moronic. Considering you were going on about how you were going to ask your boyfriend's friend if he'd make you a website for "like, a dollar an hour, probably" and how you were going to sell those 'super cheap' screenprinted shirts for "at least" $30/each.

If your sister's friend's boyfriend and your boyfriend's friend are stupid enough to actually give in to your demands, you're incredibly lucky. But, since chances are they won't be so easy to let you walk all over them in favour of monetary gain... Go get a paper route or a part time or something instead of using others.

Sincerely,
Annoyed

Dear Cheater-To-Be,

You were so charming, you gave me your phone number and asked me to call. I waited a few days and then I dialed that number. Carefully punching in the numbers, the phone range twice before a feminine voice answered. I asked for you and she said that you were in the shower, but could she take a message for me? I leave my name. And then she makes a mention of how her fiancee had never mentioned me before. Yes, so that was a rather rude awakening.

What kind of person are you that you charm a girl into thinking that you're into her, that you give her your phone number and then you're engaged, as in to be married? Do you understand the meaning of an exclusive relationship? Are you without intelligence and thought that rings don't count unless you have one on your finger as well, or would you continue to attempt to pick up girls on the train even though you have a fiancee or a wife at home waiting for you?

I didn't burst your bubble. I didn't tell her that I was the girl you had tried to pick up on the train. I was a little too shocked to do that. But the next time I see you...

I hope I don't see you again.