Saturday, March 30, 2013

Dear Kids on Spring Break

I get that you're all excited to be off from school for an extended period of time. I get it. It's fantastic. You're not at the point of your life where you'd be using that time to go to the library and study for an upcoming midterm, because you're probably all around fifteen. I get that. Spring break, whoot whoot, or whatever.

Maybe it's just my age showing, but I tend to think that people who are loud, noisy and generally obnoxious and dropping the F-bomb every third word in a sentence are in need of a thesaurus and discipline. For instance, this sentence probably isn't something you'd say in front of your grandmother:

I had such a f***ing great time last f***ing night! I f***ed her f***ing good! That c**t was f***ing gagging for my f***ing c**k.

That said, if the person you had been with last night overheard that on the bus, you'd probably never get any action again. Just saying.

But at the age of fifteen (or thereabouts) I'm sure that you're very mature and brilliant and understand how the world works or so you think. I remember being 15 and thinking that I was smart. I also remember being 19 and thinking that 15 year olds had a lot of growing up to do. And guess what, at my age now (not 19...) I think that 19 year olds have a lot of growing up to do too.

That includes prioritizing your life and understanding what's important. But, of course, I'm sure at the age of 15 you think that having sex is the most important thing ever because you'd just die if you graduated from high school still a virgin. But I'm pretty sure that's a plot point from a movie franchise.

Stop thinking with your little head, start thinking with your brain. Chances are that in 5 years, you won't care if you 'gave it' to someone good over spring break. You'll have bigger issues to deal with.

Sincerely,
A girl who's grown up, just a little bit