Dear Prepubescent Jerk,

I encounter a lot of stupid people on public transit. I encounter a lot of creepy older men, a lot of moronic people who make me very happy that there's such a thing as Natural Selection. Very happy.

This morning, I got onto the bus and instead of sitting near the back of the bus like I normally do - I was sitting on the left side of the bus, completely minding my own business (trying to ignore and drown on the excessive giggler) and then suddenly the bus driver pulled over to the side of the road and got out of his seat and told you to haul your ass off of the bus.

I was a little confused and people kind of fell silent. And I removed the earphones to better hear what the bus driver was bitching about. Were you smoking on the bus? Visibly drinking alcohol?

And then I saw it.

Really, did you really have to jerk off on the bus? Because, to be perfectly honest, that's really rather disgusting considering it was rolling down the window next to where you were sitting. Rolling. Down. The. Fucking. Window.

I mean, kid, just go home and do it in your bedroom or in the bathroom. You don't need to do it on public transit. I mean, maybe it helps with the whole "Ooooh, what if I get caught?" scenario. But when you're jerking off in public and it gets all over the window, it's disgusting. And indecent. And you could have been charged with public indecency.

Go home and do it in the privacy of your own home next time. Mmkay?

And I'll be making a mental note never to sit near the front of the bus on the right hand side of the bus ever again (for that route, anyways).

Sincerely,
Disgusted