Dear 'Granny',

So a few days ago, I was on the train. I was minding my own business and sat down and was listening to music (The Ataris, if anyone is interested in my musical tastes, although I doubt it) and then I wasn't really paying attention.

The first stop, which is a major one because it crosses with another train line, you got onto the train. You looked like a pleasant senior citizen. With your gray hair, flower-patterned bag, and you sat right down next to me and turned so that you were completely facing me and staring at me. Yes, it was incredibly awkward for me to be sitting there, knowing that you were just blatantly staring at me. Yes, I thought you were creepy and wanted to move. And no, I wasn't about t give up my seat when I was going to be on the train for the duration of 10 stops.

The next stop, however, one of the transit cops got on and started asking to see everyone's tickets. I pulled mine out, in a plastic protective case, and just held it up for the cop to see. I wasn't really paying attention to what you were doing. Until I realized that you were speak to the transit cop about me. I pulled out my ear phones and heard you telling the man that I was your granddaughter and that I was holding onto your bus ticket for you!

I challenged you, of course, as I could see where you were going with this scam of yours. You claimed that I was holding onto your bus pass. I denied knowing you and you started throwing a small fit about how you raised me and how you were when I was born. Which was a line of bull. I demanded that you tell the officer my name, you got my first name right (most likely because my first name is on a label on my water bottle, which I drank from during the duration of one stop). However, I also demanded then that you tell the officer my last name as well (which is on my student bus pass). You got it wrong and the officer handed my pass back to me and asked you to go off of the train with him at the last stop.

Do you realize how disgusting it is that you tried to take advantage of the transit system like that? That you were trying to pass off someone as your grandchild? I wonder, really, if you were going to play the senile card when you got off of the train, claim to the officer that you were confused and really thought that I was your granddaughter. I wonder if you were fined or if he decided to let you off with a warning. I mean, it was creeping me out already with you sitting there and staring at me, but claiming that I'm your granddaughter? How low can a person sink? I hope you were fined the maximum amount that they'll fine someone who doesn't a valid transit fare on them. I also hope that I never see you again. Or rather, if I do, I hope I refrain from throwing something at you.