Dear Disrespectful,

So the train platform was crowded like it normally is. There were a lot of people just waiting for the train to show up. Which is fine, because it's normal. However you were just standing there, patiently waiting with the rest of us. You appeared to be a nice old lady until the train arrived.

You pushed and shoved towards the doors, telling us all that you were elderly and needed to use a cane so that you ought to get onto the train first. You pushed me back and told me that people my age ought to wait until after everyone else had gotten a seat on the train first. Someone had to take a step back, towards you with his back turned to you, in order to let some people on the train off first. You started sputtering and demanded myself and another young person on the platform to help you by standing up for you.

We both claimed to not see a thing.

See, the problem with your logic is that you were demanding us to stand up for you, to defend you, when you were just this callous, cranky old woman who was demanding respect all because you were older than we were. Do you expect to receive a medal just for being alive longer than we have? I'm sorry, lady, but it just doesn't work that way. We bit our tongues to keep from lashing back at you.

We all piled onto the crowded train and then you reached out with your cane (the one that you don't even use when you're walking) to hit someone in the leg and then you barked at them, telling them that you are old and elderly (which is redundant, by the way) and everyone had to get off the train in order for you to even get to the seat, which the man gave up without a fight.

And just one stop later, you stood up and then hit someone repeatedly in the leg for them to move so that you can leave, even though there was enough room for you to leave and he wasn't even in your way.

You're a bitter, angry and hurtful woman. Just because you have been breathing longer than the rest of us doesn't give you the right to physically assault people with your cane (you know, the one that you don't even use when you're walking) and it certainly doesn't given you the right to push people around and expect them to defend you when someone pushes you back.

Grow the fuck up, and learn that you can't assume that people will respect you just because you're older than we are. Respect needs to be earned, and you certainly have not earned mine.

Dear 'Chimney',

I was standing on the platform, waiting for the train to arrive, and I happened to be standing next to a young mother with her baby in the stroller. They seemed nice, her baby was happily gurgling and waving to everyone she saw, such a sweetheart. And then you arrived.

You in your baggy jeans that were probably three sizes too large, you with your visible blue plaid boxers and your oversized sweatshirt that could have held you and two other people your size in it. You also happened to have a math textbook that was written to be geared towards students in grade six. Of course, that wasn't the problem. Far be it for me to judge you based only on your clothing.

My problem with you was not because of your age or your clothing or even the fact that you had questionable taste in music (a word of advice, if you don't want to go deaf by the age of 21, it's probably a good idea not listen to your music that loudly so that everyone around you can hear every single word in that ridiculous rap song about 'hos' and 'bitches'... just a word of advice).

No, it was mostly because you were smoking on the platform. And to make matters worse, you turned your head, every single time you were blowing out smoke, and blew it towards the young mother and her baby.

You might like the idea of developing lung cancer, having yellowed teeth, having bad circulation and not being able to run for short periods of time without gasping for breath, but the some people in the world don't like that. And considering a baby's lungs are the last of the major organs to develop when a fetus is developing, the lung tissue can be quite delicate. And, in addition, a child's immune system is always in the development stage. And you blowing cigarette smoke in the direction of a baby in a stroller when she can't get away from you or hold her breath until the smoke passes her by, doesn't help.

So the next time you feel the urge to have a cigarette on the train of the platform, maybe the rest of the world should be blowing something disgusting and unhealthy into your face so you can breath it in. Taste of your own medicine, after all.

Dear 'Granny',

So a few days ago, I was on the train. I was minding my own business and sat down and was listening to music (The Ataris, if anyone is interested in my musical tastes, although I doubt it) and then I wasn't really paying attention.

The first stop, which is a major one because it crosses with another train line, you got onto the train. You looked like a pleasant senior citizen. With your gray hair, flower-patterned bag, and you sat right down next to me and turned so that you were completely facing me and staring at me. Yes, it was incredibly awkward for me to be sitting there, knowing that you were just blatantly staring at me. Yes, I thought you were creepy and wanted to move. And no, I wasn't about t give up my seat when I was going to be on the train for the duration of 10 stops.

The next stop, however, one of the transit cops got on and started asking to see everyone's tickets. I pulled mine out, in a plastic protective case, and just held it up for the cop to see. I wasn't really paying attention to what you were doing. Until I realized that you were speak to the transit cop about me. I pulled out my ear phones and heard you telling the man that I was your granddaughter and that I was holding onto your bus ticket for you!

I challenged you, of course, as I could see where you were going with this scam of yours. You claimed that I was holding onto your bus pass. I denied knowing you and you started throwing a small fit about how you raised me and how you were when I was born. Which was a line of bull. I demanded that you tell the officer my name, you got my first name right (most likely because my first name is on a label on my water bottle, which I drank from during the duration of one stop). However, I also demanded then that you tell the officer my last name as well (which is on my student bus pass). You got it wrong and the officer handed my pass back to me and asked you to go off of the train with him at the last stop.

Do you realize how disgusting it is that you tried to take advantage of the transit system like that? That you were trying to pass off someone as your grandchild? I wonder, really, if you were going to play the senile card when you got off of the train, claim to the officer that you were confused and really thought that I was your granddaughter. I wonder if you were fined or if he decided to let you off with a warning. I mean, it was creeping me out already with you sitting there and staring at me, but claiming that I'm your granddaughter? How low can a person sink? I hope you were fined the maximum amount that they'll fine someone who doesn't a valid transit fare on them. I also hope that I never see you again. Or rather, if I do, I hope I refrain from throwing something at you.

Dear Little White Supremacist,

I am very sure that you know who you are. You got on the 3 o'clock bus that left the bus loop at school and were standing with your friends. Who look exactly like you, and were all happily speaking in Mandarin. You on the other hand, decided then to begin your rant about Asian people and their culture.

For instance, from what I could hear you were basically saying that:
- Asian cuisine is not real food.
- The lunar calendar is not real and is completely wrong.
- Asian parents are not real parents because you, as a baby, were adopted by a nice set of 'real parents' (read: white).
- Chopsticks are not real utensils and only uncivilized people use them.
- Asian languages are obsolete and English is far superior to all Asian dialects.

Now for my counter-arguments:
- Food is food. If it is edible, you can ingest it and it gives your body nutrients, it counts as food.
- The lunar calendar is just like the solar one, only it bases time on the moon cycles, there's nothing wrong with it.
- Asian parents, and parents of any other cultural background, are real parents. No explanation should be needed for this one.
- Chopsticks are actually more clever than metal forks, spoons and knives are. I mean, for chopsticks, all you need is two sticks. Granted, you might want to sand them down or else you'll end up with splinters, but they're far more simpler to produce, in terms of mass-production.
- Shanghai has ~18 million people for that single city's population. Hong Kong has ~7 million. Tokyo has ~12.8 million. The entire continent of Asia (including Russia, Middle East, India and the South East Pacific Islands) makes up 3.9 billion of the world's population, which stands at about 6.5-7 billion people. Congratulations, you just said that over half of the world's population's first and native languages are obsolete.

I was especially pleased with the bus driver when he asked you to leave because you uttered a comment about how everyone in China should die. Yeah, that was very mature of you. Plus, despite your fuss, you know that your so-called friends are probably going to delete you off of their Myspace or Facebook accounts when they get home tonight. Wasn't it nice of the driver to ask you get off when it was pouring rain outside? I hope you were sporting the drowned-rat look well today.

Go to hell and have a nice day.