Dear Kids on Spring Break

I get that you're all excited to be off from school for an extended period of time. I get it. It's fantastic. You're not at the point of your life where you'd be using that time to go to the library and study for an upcoming midterm, because you're probably all around fifteen. I get that. Spring break, whoot whoot, or whatever.

Maybe it's just my age showing, but I tend to think that people who are loud, noisy and generally obnoxious and dropping the F-bomb every third word in a sentence are in need of a thesaurus and discipline. For instance, this sentence probably isn't something you'd say in front of your grandmother:

I had such a f***ing great time last f***ing night! I f***ed her f***ing good! That c**t was f***ing gagging for my f***ing c**k.

That said, if the person you had been with last night overheard that on the bus, you'd probably never get any action again. Just saying.

But at the age of fifteen (or thereabouts) I'm sure that you're very mature and brilliant and understand how the world works or so you think. I remember being 15 and thinking that I was smart. I also remember being 19 and thinking that 15 year olds had a lot of growing up to do. And guess what, at my age now (not 19...) I think that 19 year olds have a lot of growing up to do too.

That includes prioritizing your life and understanding what's important. But, of course, I'm sure at the age of 15 you think that having sex is the most important thing ever because you'd just die if you graduated from high school still a virgin. But I'm pretty sure that's a plot point from a movie franchise.

Stop thinking with your little head, start thinking with your brain. Chances are that in 5 years, you won't care if you 'gave it' to someone good over spring break. You'll have bigger issues to deal with.

Sincerely,
A girl who's grown up, just a little bit

Dear Mellow Teen,

I saw you on the bus last Tuesday while I was on my way to school. You sat down on the bench seat across from me. I knew you were probably supposed to be at school already, since it was past 9am already. You dropped a backpack on the seat next to you and you start pulling out your materials.

A small baggie full of... dried leaves. A bunch of papers for rolling. A lighter.

You didn't even look up at me, or make eye contact with anyone else for the matter, as you started rolling up the first joint.

A small fold, a little tuck of the 'leaves' into place, roll roll roll and then with a swift lick, you 'seal' up the long edge and fold in the ends. And then repeat until you had five done. Then you tucked everything away and pulled out your phone to make arrangements to 'meet-up' and you told the person you were with to 'bring the cash' for what you had.

I have nothing against entrepreneurship. I really don't. However, I think there is a time and a place for everything. And the time and place to prepare your merchandise should probably not be on public transit (where there are security cameras and microphones - if the signs on board of the bus are anything to go by). And the transit cops are actual police officers with actual handcuffs and guns and whatnot. So... Probably not the best of ideas. At all.

I can think of a million things I'd rather do on public transit before rolling up joints and making arrangements to sell them. Such as... taking a nap, listening to music, texting people on my phone, reading notes for a upcoming test (let's face it - I always have an upcoming test!), twiddling my thumbs... All of which would come before being caught via audio visual equipment dealing drugs on the phone. It's really not worth your future (in getting real job) to be doing such things (on public transit and otherwise).

Sincerely,
Girl was listening to music (and texting people)

Dear Readers (if you're still here)

I don't know if anyone still reads this blog... but if you do, hello!

It has been a long time since I've blogged. I've still been taking public transit, and I'm (still?!) in school. I finished one degree and now I'm working on yet another. It's been very busy for me, but I'm hoping to (finally) be able to make some time for this blog again - I've really missed blogging about crazy (and sometimes awesome) people on public transit.

So if you bare with me, I'll be getting stories up. I'm hoping to be able to post once every two weeks.

Sincerely,
Michelle

Dear Lady with the Autistic Child

So I saw you on the bus a while ago and you seemed like an alright type. I mean, I don't go out of my way to notice people on buses these days. I noticed that you had a small child with you, maybe around the age of 4-5?

He was noisy. So incredibly noisy. And he was running around on the bus while it was moving and you weren't making any efforts to slow him down. A well-meaning gentleman decided to talk to you about it, stating that perhaps you ought to do something about your child (like maybe ASK him to sit down?) before he (or someone else) got hurt. And what did you say to the well-meaning man?

Oh, he doesn't need to behave. He's autistic.

...

Oooookay then. Because that suddenly makes it better? Your son looks to you for social cues. He looks to you to know what's right and what's wrong. Perhaps he does have autism (I can't tell by looking a kid - for all I know he could be just bad at behaving on buses), but that is no excuse not to have him behave on public transit.

No excuse at all.

Sincerely,
Someone who knows better.

Dear Finite Girl

I'm sure you're not a stupid girl. But I'm being very generous when I say this because I overheard this conversation that you were having with your friend on the train. She was showing off her new tattoo and you had the most pathetic exchange of words.

Y= You, F = Your Friend

Y: Why'd you get the number 8 tattooed onto yourself?
F: It's the infinity symbol.
Y: No, that's an 8.

See, you can't be that unintelligent if you're capable of realizing that it appears to be the number 8. Right...? But what you failed to notice (and what I did see) was that she was holding out her arm to show you the tattoo on her wrist. And one could say that it was an sideways 8 (if they were you) or they could say that it was an infinity symbol (∞) if you were anyone else.

But you looked to be about in high school, considering your biology 11 textbook (so why were you on the train at 1:20pm on a school day?), so you *probably should have recognized* that it had the possibility of an infinity symbol, especially when your friend corrected you.

But hey... At least you're taking biology and not math, right?

Sincerely,
Girl who can turn her head sideways...

Dear Snot-Girl,

I was on the train yesterday when I noticed you. There wasn't anything particularly odd about you when I first noticed you. Until I realized what exactly you were doing.

Because, honestly, it's hard not to notice a girl talking on her cell phone with a finger sticking straight up her nose.

I averted my eyes at first, looking out the window, until out of the corner of my eye, I saw what you were doing once your finger left your nose. You continued talking on the phone, wiped your finger on the empty seat next to you, glanced down at your finger and then back in it went into your nose.

Which is disgusting. What if someone had done the same thing to the seat you were sitting in? Are you trying to spread germs? (Not that germs really need any help!) But it is just bad practice to pick your nose in public and then wipe it onto a surface that other people will touch. Have you heard of tissues? Or perhaps your own clothes that you will be wearing that are already exposed to all the pathogens that could be in your own mucous? Did you consider that?

Because, in case you haven't known, some people with comprised immune systems or chronic immune disorders are incredibly bad with common ailments that your immune system (or mine) could knock out in under a day. Some people with comprised immune systems can die from really common things, like a seasonal flu (or H1N1) or the common cold.

And, considering the statistics textbook and the school planner you were carrying, I'm guessing you were at least in 2nd year university.

Which means that you should know better. A lot better.

Sincerely,
Girl with better social skills

Dear "Yoga" Girl,

You got onto the bus today with your friend. You were carrying your backpack and a rolled up yoga mat and your friend commented that she didn't realize that you did yoga now. Imagine my surprise when I heard you speaking from the seat in front of me.

Girl: Oh, I don't actually do yoga.
Friend: Then why do you have a mat?
G: Because a lot more guys hit on me when I've got it.
F: *surprised* Seriously? How did you find that out?
G: Well you know X? She carries one and she always has hot guys talking to her.
F: But she actually does yoga!
G: Well, how will anyone ever know that I don't?
F: Good point!

Really? You carry around an object, albeit a light and fairly compacted object, just to attract the attentions of guys? What happens if one of them happens to do yoga as well and asks you where you do it? What happens if one of them wants to know where you go to do yoga so they can sign up for a class as well? What happens if someone asks you for recommendations for places to buy yoga mats or asks you which is the best instructor you've had so far?

Do you not think things through when you decide on a really weird scheme?

Perhaps I'm just odd, but I really don't see the point of making up such a lie (with props, no less!) in order to get guys to like you. If they decide to hit on you just because of your yoga mat, are they just as likely to hit on you if you didn't have it with you? Perhaps they would have spoken to you anyways, regardless of that rolled up mat that you've got with you. Perhaps they would have wanted to talk to you and find something out about you that is true.

What will happen if one of these guys who will hit on you (allegedly) because you have a yoga mat with you decides to ask you out on a date? What happens if this relationship becomes remotely casually-serious? Are you going to tell them that you've just decided to stop going to yoga or are you going to fess up to this stupid lie that you've concocted?

Because really, I want to know how you think this will play out.

Sincerely,
Girl without a yoga mat