I was minding my own business while I was sitting down on the train, honest. It was not my fault that you and your equally young looking friend sat down down in front of me. At first glance, I would have said that you two were around grade 10, 16 years old or so. And goodness, wasn't I surprised when I overheard your conversation? (F is 'friend' and Y is 'you')
F: You're so lucky! You've got to be the only girl in our school dating someone that's four years older!
Y: I know, right? He's awesome.
F: And cute. I can't believe you're dating a guy in grade 11.
[Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it. Grade 11? Four years older? That's right readers, depending on when he and she were both born, she's either in grade 7 or grade 8.]
Y: Yeah, I was talking to my mom last night.
F: Oh, what did she say?
Y: She's totally cool with it. She said that if I'm dating a guy in grade 11, I should expect that he'll want me to put out. She made us appointments so that I can everything wax.
F: Oh, that's so exciting!
You're in grade 7 (or 8, I don't know when you were born). That means you're either 12 or 13. And you're dating someone who's in grade 11 (ages 16 or 17)? And your mother allows this? She's even encouraging you do to this by taking you out to get waxed? That is not exciting, that is painful. Very, very, very painful. I cannot believe that your mother is telling you that the boy would expect to have sex (although it is true) and then encouraging it further by getting you ready for it.
When I was 12, my largest concern was if my crush-of-the-week liked me back. Your biggest concern at 12? Bikini or Brazilian. Does that sound remotely normal in today's society? You should be worrying about regular pre-teen stuff. Like when the new episode of Gossip Girl is going to be on, not having your mother tell you that you're going to be expected to spread your legs, so you better get ready. And what does that say about your grade 11 boyfriend? He can't get a girl in high school? He can't get a girl his own age? He has to resort to someone who's barely a teenager? It's a social taboo to be dating someone that many years older/younger than you are when you're still in grade school.
Seriously, once you get out of high school, flirting and dating and kissing guys that are like 6 years older than you, is not that big of a deal because when you talk about him, you're not going 'Oh, he's in grade 11'. It's more like 'Oh, he works [here]' or 'He goes to the same university/college as I do'. That's fine.
Besides, the legal age for sex in Canada is 14. You're (at most) 13. Seriously, keep your legs shut and seriously think of why your oh-so-hot grade 11 boyfriend can't find a girl in high school to date.
(Please note, it's definitely not because you're more mature than they are.)
Monday, March 31, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Dear Girl in Pink,
I was having a horrible day today. I generally do, whenever I just finish having a midterm that's worth more than 5% that I cannot even be sure if I passed or not. I managed to stay with a scowl on my face on the bus and for a short period of time on the train. I managed to keep this scowl until you can running onto the train car when it reached the station and your mom came jogging in after you.
You seemed to be quite young, maybe around two, and you needed your mother's help getting up onto the seat. You had a great big smile on your face and you nodded and shook your head at your mother's questions, sending your long pigtails swinging around your head. What I first noticed was the fact that you had on pink rainboots that happened to have yellow ducks on them as well. I thought that they were really cute and noticed that you had on a pink winter jacket as well. But what I really noticed, was how happily and gleefully you would giggle away when your mom hid her eyes from you and then revealed them again. You would giggle and giggle as if it was the greatest game ever invented. You just seemed so happy that she was playing Peek-A-Boo with you, that you were all smiles for your entire trip on the train.
And watching you get so excited and so happy other something that seemed so simple made me sad. When did I outgrow the peek-a-boo being enough to make me happy? When did I go from looking up and loving my parents unconditionally to rolling my eyes at their advice and being annoyed whenever they told me to do something? When did I get to the point that simple things didn't do as much as they used to when I was that age? It sad that we as a society have progressed to the point that simple things like that are only reserved for children. Simple gestures are overlooked, simple actions are disregarded, simple words are considered mundane. It's a sad thought that the world doesn't work like that, that in the society where I live, happiness is based almost solely on monetary value.
To show you love someone, you buy them a bouquet of roses, you don't go and pick wildflowers or grow them yourself. To thank someone, you send them a gift that you bought, rather than making something yourself. To make someone happy, you don't just cover your eyes and go 'peek-a-boo', you buy them something.
It is disheartening, but I must thank this Girl in Pink for reminding me that there were once simpler times. While those who are about the age of five can no longer see that, there are still some who can find happiness in what we consider to be simple acts of love.
You seemed to be quite young, maybe around two, and you needed your mother's help getting up onto the seat. You had a great big smile on your face and you nodded and shook your head at your mother's questions, sending your long pigtails swinging around your head. What I first noticed was the fact that you had on pink rainboots that happened to have yellow ducks on them as well. I thought that they were really cute and noticed that you had on a pink winter jacket as well. But what I really noticed, was how happily and gleefully you would giggle away when your mom hid her eyes from you and then revealed them again. You would giggle and giggle as if it was the greatest game ever invented. You just seemed so happy that she was playing Peek-A-Boo with you, that you were all smiles for your entire trip on the train.
And watching you get so excited and so happy other something that seemed so simple made me sad. When did I outgrow the peek-a-boo being enough to make me happy? When did I go from looking up and loving my parents unconditionally to rolling my eyes at their advice and being annoyed whenever they told me to do something? When did I get to the point that simple things didn't do as much as they used to when I was that age? It sad that we as a society have progressed to the point that simple things like that are only reserved for children. Simple gestures are overlooked, simple actions are disregarded, simple words are considered mundane. It's a sad thought that the world doesn't work like that, that in the society where I live, happiness is based almost solely on monetary value.
To show you love someone, you buy them a bouquet of roses, you don't go and pick wildflowers or grow them yourself. To thank someone, you send them a gift that you bought, rather than making something yourself. To make someone happy, you don't just cover your eyes and go 'peek-a-boo', you buy them something.
It is disheartening, but I must thank this Girl in Pink for reminding me that there were once simpler times. While those who are about the age of five can no longer see that, there are still some who can find happiness in what we consider to be simple acts of love.
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