Dear Girl with Rose-Coloured Glasses,

I wasn't feeling particularly down or up today. But you came over and sat down next to me and asked me if I wanted to be your friend.

Now if I were to receive the exact same question from someone who looked like they were in their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 60s or if they were male and a teenager, I'd probably wrinkle my nose in disgust and attempt to be polite in my declination of their offer.

But since I recognized (and knew!) the woman who was with you (Your 'au pair', I think she said she was? Whatever.). And she said it was okay to talk to me. And you're like... 4-5 and cute as a button. So of course when you asked to be my friend, I said "yes".

Of course, this was a really awkward conversation in that you're kind of young and you're kind of silly at times. Like for instance when you were telling me about this really super icky and gross boy that you know from school/pre-school. Because all he ever does is pull on your hair and try to trip you and then you said the funniest thing.

"I'm not going to date him, you know, that boy? He thinks I'm going to, but I'm not. Because when you date someone, you're practically married, you know. And you have to let them hold your hand and you have to let them kiss you or else they won't let you use their credit card to go shopping with. And I don't want to get married to anyone until I'm at least ten."

Do you realize how difficult it was for me not to laugh at that? I suggested waiting until you were at least twenty and then you asked how many fingers that was. Oh boy.

And really? All you have to do is hold their hand and let them kiss you from time to time and you get to use their credit card? Really? And I bet you think unicorns come into your backyard at night and that elves make your Christmas presents still. You'll learn.

But you know what? It's okay. Because when you're ten, you're going to realize that no one your age is getting married (not in this country, anyways). When you get to middle school, dating is like a contact sport. You touch someone and you're suddenly dating and it lasts for like... a week. A month, tops. Wait until high school, then you'll see that it gets a little bit more intense.

But I have to say... I never considered being fully reliant on someone as a life's goal. And I hope that changes for you. And that you don't become a gold digger, because that's not really that attractive.

Sincerely,
Over 10, but not married

Dear Munchkin,

I got on the bus fairly late this morning. I sat down in the second-to-last seat available on my way to school. Then you come running onto the bus, your mom right behind you, and you pull yourself up onto the seat next to me and you promptly fall right into me when the bus pulls away from the curb. You mumbled that you are really, really 'sowwie' and then sit back up properly again. Your mom sets a huge bag in front of you and she's standing there holding onto the pole.

You ask her for aww-paws and she pulls an apple for you and hands it to you.

You wave it around and ask her to 'start it' for you. It's not a practice that I'm familiar with and I noticed that she took the apple from you, took a bite out of it, then handed it back to you. Oh, that's what you meant by starting it for you.

Then you're happily munching on what's possibly the smallest apple in the history of ripe apples and then you look up and me and just go:

Do you wanna be my girlfriend?

I laughed and said that I try to avoid dating people when I don't even know their names.

So you introduced yourself.

I also mentioned that I didn't even know how old you were so you held up three fingers. And asked if I wanted to be your girlfriend because everyone at preschool has a girlfriend.

Even the girls? I asked and you just nodded your head as you took another bite out of the apple.

I politely declined and you looked downcasted before you looked up at your mom and went 'All done!' and handed her the apple core. You quickly forgot about the rejection that you received by the random person that you happened to fall into and sit next to on the bus on a dreary Friday morning.

I think you're going to be a heartbreaker one day - but maybe you should consider introducing yourself before asking any girl if they want to be your girlfriend (even if everyone else at preschool has one).

Sincerely,
Girl who can start her apples by herself

Dear Girl in Pink,

I was having a horrible day today. I generally do, whenever I just finish having a midterm that's worth more than 5% that I cannot even be sure if I passed or not. I managed to stay with a scowl on my face on the bus and for a short period of time on the train. I managed to keep this scowl until you can running onto the train car when it reached the station and your mom came jogging in after you.

You seemed to be quite young, maybe around two, and you needed your mother's help getting up onto the seat. You had a great big smile on your face and you nodded and shook your head at your mother's questions, sending your long pigtails swinging around your head. What I first noticed was the fact that you had on pink rainboots that happened to have yellow ducks on them as well. I thought that they were really cute and noticed that you had on a pink winter jacket as well. But what I really noticed, was how happily and gleefully you would giggle away when your mom hid her eyes from you and then revealed them again. You would giggle and giggle as if it was the greatest game ever invented. You just seemed so happy that she was playing Peek-A-Boo with you, that you were all smiles for your entire trip on the train.

And watching you get so excited and so happy other something that seemed so simple made me sad. When did I outgrow the peek-a-boo being enough to make me happy? When did I go from looking up and loving my parents unconditionally to rolling my eyes at their advice and being annoyed whenever they told me to do something? When did I get to the point that simple things didn't do as much as they used to when I was that age? It sad that we as a society have progressed to the point that simple things like that are only reserved for children. Simple gestures are overlooked, simple actions are disregarded, simple words are considered mundane. It's a sad thought that the world doesn't work like that, that in the society where I live, happiness is based almost solely on monetary value.

To show you love someone, you buy them a bouquet of roses, you don't go and pick wildflowers or grow them yourself. To thank someone, you send them a gift that you bought, rather than making something yourself. To make someone happy, you don't just cover your eyes and go 'peek-a-boo', you buy them something.

It is disheartening, but I must thank this Girl in Pink for reminding me that there were once simpler times. While those who are about the age of five can no longer see that, there are still some who can find happiness in what we consider to be simple acts of love.

Dear Woman with the God-Complex,

I was sitting on the bus late this afternoon when you and your daughter got on. She is perhaps four years old and had her curly hair tied back with neatly curled ribbons and she had a matching dress, white knee socks, shiny black shoes and a matching rain poncho. I couldn't help but think that perhaps you had chosen her outfit out for her. Which probably isn't very far off it's mark as your outfit just happened to be all black while her main colour was baby pink.

She was sitting there, legs crossed just like her mommy and about every five seconds you would lean over and touch your hand to the small of her back and she would sit straighter, like someone had put a straight bar of iron behind her and told her to make sure her entire back was touching it. You scolded her when she reached to touch her hand to the window, telling her that was it was very dirty and that she wasn't allowed to touch it. She pouted and you scolded her some more, threatening to take away her toys at home. With that comment, she pouted some more and wanted to know when the two of you would be home.

You just look down at her and bite out the word 'soon' and go back to reading today's paper. I was appalled by your behavior, certainly. But far be it for me to judge your parenting skills. And despite the fact that I really wanted to say something, I kept my mouth shut.

Then your daughter proceeded to tell you about what 'Al' had just told her. From what I could gather, Al was your daughter's (imaginary) friend. But you kept on telling her that Al was just made up and that he wasn't really there, that he didn't existed. you told her to stop making up stories, that Al wasn't really there and if he was, he would tell you to stop making up stories.

I watched your daughter cross her arms, her eyes get watery and then she protested. I was nearly going to start applauding her for standing up for herself.

"But Mommy, Al is real! He's sitting right there!"

She points to a seemingly empty seat and start telling you that Al is making funny faces and blowing a raspberry, she demonstrates. And you get angry at her for 'acting out' and 'trying to get attention'.

At the next stop you two get off and she starts pulling at your arm to stop you from leaving because Al wasn't up from his seat yet. And then you just pick her up around her waist and take her off the bus, and as the bus is pulling away, she's screaming for Al because you'd left him on the bus with a 'bunch of strangers'.

That little girl probably wasn't even in kindergarten yet and all she wanted was you to wait possibly five seconds for Al to catch up and you just picked her up and took her off the bus without regarding her feelings. And when I looked back after hearing her screaming for him? You just continued walking with her looking over your shoulder, arms stretched out, mouth open in mid-scream.

When I was four, because my older siblings were so much older than I was, and I hadn't started school yet, I had my fair share of imaginary friends too. The neighborhood that I lived in didn't have that many children close to my age (and still doesn't). My parents probably did think that it was weird, but they never questioned it. They just played along, occasionally going as far as addressing my imaginary friends only for me to to go 'they aren't over there, mom, they're here'. To a child who has no siblings close to their own age or neighborhood children to play with, an imaginary friend or (mostly in my case, being Collie - a polar bear) a stuffed animal (that only comes to life with the Grown Ups aren't around) is basically all they really have in terms of someone to play with. I had tea parties and dress-up games with my stuffed animals. I would build forts out of the couch cushions and set up specific stuffies to be my 'tower guards' and the other ones would all get their own respective roles.

I hope you open the door someday this week only to have your daughter dance around the room and go 'Al's back, Mommy, he's back!'. Because your daughter needs someone to spend time with other than a maternal figure who couldn't wait for her friend to get off the bus too or a maternal figure who doesn't let her child exercise her creativity to its maximum potential.

Al should meet Collie one day, I think they would get along well.

Dearest Boy on the Train,

You know who you are. Grey sweatpants, yellow tee-shirt and a bright smile to match. You certainly made my day. It helped that you approached me, smiles and all and so eager to make a good impression: trust me, you really did.

It was nice of your mom not to follow you as you approached a random stranger on the train, the way you were nervous and sort of wringing your hands like you had done something wrong and then you spoke to me. You introduced yourself, gave me your name, your age, all smiles. And my heart went out to you when you had trouble finding your words, but what you said really made me smile. For that, you get a happy letter from the girl you met on the train. Even though you are only twelve, you are certainly more perceptive than some people of the same gender that you are that should know better when they're eighteen or in their mid-forties. See, you're cool in my eyes.

So thank you so much for the compliment. You can't go wrong with having Prison Break as your favourite television show or Sum 41 as your favourite band. (Although, you could do better with Grey's Anatomy and The Ataris, but that's a bit of a personal preference.)

You are perhaps the most awesome twelve year old ever to come up and talk to me. And thank you so much for the compliment.

The Girl On the Train