Dear Transit Company,

I realize that snow is not good. Especially when the streets do not get plowed, there is too much snow on the sides of the streets and there are trouble getting things done. I got on the 4:10pm bus to go home. I will generally get home at about 4:30 or 4:35. I got home at 5:30pm. How? Oh... Dearest transit... I'm about to tell you.

The 3:50 bus was on C Street, the corner of it, actually, and had hazard lights on. My bus was behind it because C St. was too small to get around the first bus. The 4:30 and the 4:50 bus were also on the same block of C St. Yeah, that was great. Really, it was. Could the first bus have not called the transit people to tell them that they would be blocking the street?

At around 5:00pm, everyone on the first three buses all piled off and got onto the fourth bus and somehow the first three buses all moved out of the way. The fourth bus? This magical bus that was somehow supposed to get me to my stop? Yeah... It started rolling backwards. It had trouble at every single stop that the bus had to stop at to let people off. It was a joy, really.

So, dearest transit company... Please, pretty, pretty please, invest some money in better snow tires. Invest some money on better communication tools. Invest some money in being able to physically run buses on days were there is snow. I still love you, really I do. You're saving me a huge amount of money each month with my discounted student pass, so I do love you.

But your incapabilities of running trains or buses while it is snowing is a pain. So... Fuck you.

Dear Computer Guy,

I am a huge fan of technology, I am. I'm a huge fan of being about to access the internet even if I'm moving around, I'm a huge fan of receiving and sending text messages, I'm a huge fan of laptops in general. But that is besides the point.

You were sitting in front of me on the bus and you pulled out your laptop and turned it on. It only took a moment before your screen blinked to life and you got onto your desktop and opened up a movie-viewing program and started watching a film.

I didn't really pay attention to you at first because you looked so... passive. Dressed smart with a button down dress shirt, pressed jacket that matched your pants, black dress shoes (I sat down first, so I did notice this). You just looked like a young businessman wanting to get home after a day at the office. You were clean cut, no stubble and, last but not least, a gold band on your left ring finger.

As I stated before, I am a huge fan of technology. But if you're going to be watching your pornographic films on your laptop, could you at least turn the volume down or off? Or better yet, plug in a set of headphones?

You had the volume loud enough so that I could hear it over one of the louder songs of the Les Miserables (Original Broadway Cast Recording). I mean, seriously, you had the volume up pretty high.

I thought I was hearing things at first, so I pulled out one of my earphones and then realized that yes, I wasn't hearing things. I looked around and then looked forward and certainly got an eyeful.

I don't have a problem with pornography, I don't have a problem with the people who choose to watch it or choose to be in it. I do, however, have a problem with the people (ie. you) who choose to watch it in public with the volume turned way up when there were children under the age of five on the bus. I mean, I suppose you could claim that it's educational (in a sense), but seeing women being held in bondage and men holding the whips isn't rather educational.

So next time that you feel like getting off on the bus, could you please either wait until you get home, turn the volume off (or down?) or just plug in a set of headphones so no one has to hear the moans and groans of the paid actors and actresses of a pornographic film? It would just be respectful to the people around you.

Dear Disrespectful,

So the train platform was crowded like it normally is. There were a lot of people just waiting for the train to show up. Which is fine, because it's normal. However you were just standing there, patiently waiting with the rest of us. You appeared to be a nice old lady until the train arrived.

You pushed and shoved towards the doors, telling us all that you were elderly and needed to use a cane so that you ought to get onto the train first. You pushed me back and told me that people my age ought to wait until after everyone else had gotten a seat on the train first. Someone had to take a step back, towards you with his back turned to you, in order to let some people on the train off first. You started sputtering and demanded myself and another young person on the platform to help you by standing up for you.

We both claimed to not see a thing.

See, the problem with your logic is that you were demanding us to stand up for you, to defend you, when you were just this callous, cranky old woman who was demanding respect all because you were older than we were. Do you expect to receive a medal just for being alive longer than we have? I'm sorry, lady, but it just doesn't work that way. We bit our tongues to keep from lashing back at you.

We all piled onto the crowded train and then you reached out with your cane (the one that you don't even use when you're walking) to hit someone in the leg and then you barked at them, telling them that you are old and elderly (which is redundant, by the way) and everyone had to get off the train in order for you to even get to the seat, which the man gave up without a fight.

And just one stop later, you stood up and then hit someone repeatedly in the leg for them to move so that you can leave, even though there was enough room for you to leave and he wasn't even in your way.

You're a bitter, angry and hurtful woman. Just because you have been breathing longer than the rest of us doesn't give you the right to physically assault people with your cane (you know, the one that you don't even use when you're walking) and it certainly doesn't given you the right to push people around and expect them to defend you when someone pushes you back.

Grow the fuck up, and learn that you can't assume that people will respect you just because you're older than we are. Respect needs to be earned, and you certainly have not earned mine.

Dear 'Chimney',

I was standing on the platform, waiting for the train to arrive, and I happened to be standing next to a young mother with her baby in the stroller. They seemed nice, her baby was happily gurgling and waving to everyone she saw, such a sweetheart. And then you arrived.

You in your baggy jeans that were probably three sizes too large, you with your visible blue plaid boxers and your oversized sweatshirt that could have held you and two other people your size in it. You also happened to have a math textbook that was written to be geared towards students in grade six. Of course, that wasn't the problem. Far be it for me to judge you based only on your clothing.

My problem with you was not because of your age or your clothing or even the fact that you had questionable taste in music (a word of advice, if you don't want to go deaf by the age of 21, it's probably a good idea not listen to your music that loudly so that everyone around you can hear every single word in that ridiculous rap song about 'hos' and 'bitches'... just a word of advice).

No, it was mostly because you were smoking on the platform. And to make matters worse, you turned your head, every single time you were blowing out smoke, and blew it towards the young mother and her baby.

You might like the idea of developing lung cancer, having yellowed teeth, having bad circulation and not being able to run for short periods of time without gasping for breath, but the some people in the world don't like that. And considering a baby's lungs are the last of the major organs to develop when a fetus is developing, the lung tissue can be quite delicate. And, in addition, a child's immune system is always in the development stage. And you blowing cigarette smoke in the direction of a baby in a stroller when she can't get away from you or hold her breath until the smoke passes her by, doesn't help.

So the next time you feel the urge to have a cigarette on the train of the platform, maybe the rest of the world should be blowing something disgusting and unhealthy into your face so you can breath it in. Taste of your own medicine, after all.

Dear 'Granny',

So a few days ago, I was on the train. I was minding my own business and sat down and was listening to music (The Ataris, if anyone is interested in my musical tastes, although I doubt it) and then I wasn't really paying attention.

The first stop, which is a major one because it crosses with another train line, you got onto the train. You looked like a pleasant senior citizen. With your gray hair, flower-patterned bag, and you sat right down next to me and turned so that you were completely facing me and staring at me. Yes, it was incredibly awkward for me to be sitting there, knowing that you were just blatantly staring at me. Yes, I thought you were creepy and wanted to move. And no, I wasn't about t give up my seat when I was going to be on the train for the duration of 10 stops.

The next stop, however, one of the transit cops got on and started asking to see everyone's tickets. I pulled mine out, in a plastic protective case, and just held it up for the cop to see. I wasn't really paying attention to what you were doing. Until I realized that you were speak to the transit cop about me. I pulled out my ear phones and heard you telling the man that I was your granddaughter and that I was holding onto your bus ticket for you!

I challenged you, of course, as I could see where you were going with this scam of yours. You claimed that I was holding onto your bus pass. I denied knowing you and you started throwing a small fit about how you raised me and how you were when I was born. Which was a line of bull. I demanded that you tell the officer my name, you got my first name right (most likely because my first name is on a label on my water bottle, which I drank from during the duration of one stop). However, I also demanded then that you tell the officer my last name as well (which is on my student bus pass). You got it wrong and the officer handed my pass back to me and asked you to go off of the train with him at the last stop.

Do you realize how disgusting it is that you tried to take advantage of the transit system like that? That you were trying to pass off someone as your grandchild? I wonder, really, if you were going to play the senile card when you got off of the train, claim to the officer that you were confused and really thought that I was your granddaughter. I wonder if you were fined or if he decided to let you off with a warning. I mean, it was creeping me out already with you sitting there and staring at me, but claiming that I'm your granddaughter? How low can a person sink? I hope you were fined the maximum amount that they'll fine someone who doesn't a valid transit fare on them. I also hope that I never see you again. Or rather, if I do, I hope I refrain from throwing something at you.

Dear Little White Supremacist,

I am very sure that you know who you are. You got on the 3 o'clock bus that left the bus loop at school and were standing with your friends. Who look exactly like you, and were all happily speaking in Mandarin. You on the other hand, decided then to begin your rant about Asian people and their culture.

For instance, from what I could hear you were basically saying that:
- Asian cuisine is not real food.
- The lunar calendar is not real and is completely wrong.
- Asian parents are not real parents because you, as a baby, were adopted by a nice set of 'real parents' (read: white).
- Chopsticks are not real utensils and only uncivilized people use them.
- Asian languages are obsolete and English is far superior to all Asian dialects.

Now for my counter-arguments:
- Food is food. If it is edible, you can ingest it and it gives your body nutrients, it counts as food.
- The lunar calendar is just like the solar one, only it bases time on the moon cycles, there's nothing wrong with it.
- Asian parents, and parents of any other cultural background, are real parents. No explanation should be needed for this one.
- Chopsticks are actually more clever than metal forks, spoons and knives are. I mean, for chopsticks, all you need is two sticks. Granted, you might want to sand them down or else you'll end up with splinters, but they're far more simpler to produce, in terms of mass-production.
- Shanghai has ~18 million people for that single city's population. Hong Kong has ~7 million. Tokyo has ~12.8 million. The entire continent of Asia (including Russia, Middle East, India and the South East Pacific Islands) makes up 3.9 billion of the world's population, which stands at about 6.5-7 billion people. Congratulations, you just said that over half of the world's population's first and native languages are obsolete.

I was especially pleased with the bus driver when he asked you to leave because you uttered a comment about how everyone in China should die. Yeah, that was very mature of you. Plus, despite your fuss, you know that your so-called friends are probably going to delete you off of their Myspace or Facebook accounts when they get home tonight. Wasn't it nice of the driver to ask you get off when it was pouring rain outside? I hope you were sporting the drowned-rat look well today.

Go to hell and have a nice day.

Dear Scot,

Today while my friend Katie and I were waiting for the bus (the schedule was not in the pole that said which bus stop it was, which was disappointing - we were waiting for over 10 minutes for the bus and it was very windy and cold - this is all besides the point) and we saw this man get off a bus. That in itself is not very interesting, but the man that we saw you. You were wearing high white socks and a red kilt that had what looked like traditional pins to keep it from flying up in the wind.

As soon as the bus driver (a woman) pulled the bus away, you started cursing, stamping your foot down in anger. Saying that if any woman "ever fucking does that to me again, I'll cut her fucking head off". Now, I'm sure you were only saying this in anger - but honestly now... Violence doesn't solve anything and nor does cursing at someone who cannot hear you. Also, uttering threats of bodily harm is unlawful and therefore you can be charged for them fighting words and if anything ever happened to that woman, you'd be the first suspect since there'd be something in the records. Besides, it isn't very nice to threaten to cut someone's head off.

You stomped angrily away, shaking your head at the women of the world in general and then suddenly you cursed again with a very loud 'fuck' and then said very loudly how you just missed your bus. Now, I'm sure it's very nice that you are well versed in the use of profanity, but there is no need to curse so loudly. (Also, in case you did not notice, a woman was pushing a stroller with a toddler by you when you were busy cursing. Perhaps you're not very caring of people in general, but toddlers can speak and can mimic the adults around them.)

When the bus that my friend and I were waiting for eventually arrived, you got onto the same one and just muttered things to yourself, shaking your head the entire time and when you got off, you surprised me by actually thanking the driver. But then, the driver was a man so I supposed that you felt that you had some sense of kinship with him.

But anyways, a word of advice for the last time you want to utter threats of bodily harm to people who are just doing their job. Don't say it out loud. Especially since there were about a half-dozen witnesses. So happy holidays and I hope you get exactly what you deserve.